October 22, 2011


 Yep. I've taken the plunge into the blogging world.

I am only 22, but have been taught a lot and experienced brokenness in a very real way. I have also been blessed beyond what i thought was possible and am continually humbled through the blessing's the Lord does in my life. One thing I have learned about life on either side of the spectrum, utter brokenness or pure bliss, He will always make it good. It is good.  In certain circumstances, it's hard to see or find the good. But I know if it is not good, it will be good. always.

Lately, I have found myself stopping in the middle of the day or when I lay down at night and being overwhelmed with the good that is filling my life. With that previous statement, you would assume everything right now is going "perfect" or "easy" in this season. But, that is not my case. But really. what is perfect? and what does "having it easy mean"? Is "easy" a good thing? Either way. My life is neither of those, but it is full. It is full of love, joy, passion, laughter, smiles, brokenness, realness, humility, and mistakes. Currently, I am in my 2nd month of my dietetic internship here in KC. It has easily been some of the most challenging, if not the most challenging, months of my life, and it will only become more strenuous in the upcoming months. I spent many nights feeling more overwhelmed than ever, and often ending in tears. I have woke up some mornings having to pray to make it through the day without a breakdown. With all that being said, I may be the most humbled by the opportunity the Lord has given me with this internship. I wake up every day still in awe that I am getting to be in a dietetic internship AND to be apart of the program at KUmed. **[ for anyone who doesn't know, I am working to become an registered dietitian, and for that to happen you have to have 1200 hours of supervised practice called an internship. KUmed's program is the internship + grad school]** I am learning more about life, humanity, and the broken world we live in. I have learned that I am extremely naive, and have so much to learn. I just finished a rotation for my "community" aspect of the internship, and now I am at a children's behavioral health hospital for my management. Healing, love, grace, and restoration are four huge things the facility I am at pours out and needs daily for these children. I have learned I have so much to learn about God's ways and His people. I am extremely passionate about nutrition and the healing food can do. The Lord has yet to let any room for doubt, reminding/showing me daily that dietetics is a field I should continue to pursue and a feild He can use me in.

Being in 12 hours of grad school, and working 35-40 hours a week, my free time is very limited, but is full of the best. I have now lived in the same city as my boyfriend for 2.5 months after dating for a year long-distance (he was in Nashville,TN and i was in Fayetteville, AR), and it is just the best thing. It is something we say often and it has yet to get "old" or become something "we're used to". Hindsight- I am so thankful for that year of distance. We learned a lot about each other and communication that we may not have learned without the challenge of distance. But. I can say. I never want to do that again. I'm not saying we couldn't because the Lord is the One who held us together and allowed our relationship to continue with that challenge, and I am confident He would again. But, if it's up to me-- I won't choose to do that one again. Learning to balance time with Brett, school, and myself has been hard but I am SO thankful for that challenge of a task. He has  been such a source of solidity and continues to speak encouragement and truth, all in love. He has been such a blessing and a lifeline that supports me at all times and loves me through the hardest days or nights.

It is a really special time for my family right now. My parents have offically made the decision, and will be moving for the first time in 18 years. My dad took a job that is based in Dallas last spring, and has been commuting between the 2 cities each week. My dad is very good at what he does, and has had a plethora of jobs throughout his life, and my life, but this is the first job I have ever seen him so happy in. It's a job he will have for a very very long time. He is only in KC on the weekends, and the discussion of making the move has been a long-time "maybe" or "some day" conversation. But that maybe is now a for sure. and that some day is now march 1st. God has been so evident through this process and it is obvious that He is orchestrating each detail so perfectly. Our house has closed, and the date has been set. I have such mixed emotions, but ultimately, it is a thing that needs to happen and is the absolute best thing for our family. It is hard. and It's going to be uncomfortable. But it is right. I am so thankful to have the parents I have, and for them to have the marriage they do. As I get older, I am learning that the example of love and marriage I have been given my whole life with my parents marriage is a precious gift, and one that is hard to find. I am so thankful they love each other more than they did when they said  "I do" 31 years ago. I am so thankful they treat their marriage as a priority and work on it. And I am so thankful that they work better together, than they do apart. My dad is not as good, alone, as he is when he is living life with my mom daily. and my mom is not as good, alone, as she is when she is living with my dad daily. Yes, their marriage is stronger than ever, but daily life together is something they both need. and i love that. I go back and forth with feelings all over the board but i am confident that it is right. The Lord has us in His hands. He makes all things work for our own good. It is good.