July 6, 2012

down to this very moment.

So, as most of you who are actually reading this (probably ALL of you) know I have been in the KU Med dietetic internship (and master's program) the past 11 months. And before that, I studied and worked super hard in undergrad to get into a dietetic internship program. Therefore, it can easily be said that the past 4 years and 11 months (let's just say 5 years) I have been working to get to this point. 2 weeks from today, i will be taking my "exit exam". This exam is a exam I have to take to "pass" my dietetic internship, and the get paperwork needed to take the registered dietitian's exam (aka like a boards exam or a nclex for nurses.. it's our national exam). It is very similar to the RD exam, 200-300ish questions, 3 hours ish to take it-- with the content of the questions being anything i have covered in the past 5 years.  If/when I pass the exit exam, i will be waiting for paperwork to get in, and take the RD exam late august/early sept.

So pretty much, what I have been working towards the past 5 years is now in the next 2-8 weeks of my life. That's a lot of pressure. I don't remember a day that I haven't thought about my "end" goal [in regards to school].. the completion of a dietetic internship, and passing the RD exam... being a registered dietitian. It is finally here, and it feels so good. As much pressure there may be, I feel confident in the pressure. No, that confidence is not being translated as i will easily pass, i'm not worried about the tests but rather the confidence in the Lord and His ways.

The past 5 years have been through some of the most, if not the most, transforming years of my life thus far. 18-23. those years are full of change and transformation. I am an anxious person, and I can look back on many, many hours spent worrying about something related to school/dietetics. And every time, the Lord's promises and grace are the only things that got me through those times, and to where I am sitting today. Continuing to point me in a direction that is for Him.  There were days I woke up and went to bed only holding onto His promise that I am not alone, and His ways are perfect. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. -Psalms 18:30. He delivered me through those times, whether they were due to heart ache, disappointment, confusion, stress, worry, or the simple unknown.

I am confident of where He has lead me, and confident I am not alone. What a blessing it is to be so passionate about something (for me it is nutrition) and for Him to work that into His story. Or perhaps, I am passionate about nutrition because of Him.

So as I study for the 2 most important tests of my career (mind you- i am still anxious about these tests, and studying has become my life :)), I know my work is for Him, and if He can heal my heart, help me overcome my worries/fears/etc., and show me His overflowing grace through it all... I will be fine in this season, and the seasons to come.

For He is so good.