September 25, 2012

overwhelmed with love.

To all of you who have showered Brett and I with your love... THANK YOU. I feel like a "thank you" does not suffice how loved and encouraged you have made us feel these past few days.

Brett Moore and I are engaged. <-- that sentence is something i have been dreaming about (and guarding my heart about) for about 1 year and 8 months. It only took 4 months of dating that guy [long distance] to have the first thoughts of "wow, this guy may be the guy I get to marry". Of course, those thoughts were hopeful and kept to myself for along while... [I mean who has those thoughts 4 months into a long-distance relationship.] Little did I know, he was having those thoughts too.

Brett and I started dating, officially, 2 years ago [tomorrow] on September 26th, 2010. As we began this relationship-- not knowing what we were thinking getting into long-distance our senior year of college-- I started to see more and more of the Lord's hand in my life. He revealed things to me about myself and the refining process I had been through with Him through Brett and I's relationship. His timing is perfect, always. And i feel like that is a theme I am reminded of often. I was not ready to meet Brett (meet him in an available way) before summer of 2010. The Lord has guided, refined, challenged, and loved me to help me get where I am today...Brett Moore's fiance.

I could go on and on about the proposal and days leading up to it in detail- but i'll save that for another time.

On thursday, Sept 20th, 2012, Brett and I were going on a "surprise date" I was a little suspicious but really not sure if this was it. He took me to the arboretum [KC peeps- go check it out, its awesome] for a picnic. He was acting completely normal, not shaken, not nervous very calm and confident- as Brett tends to be- and i was convinced he wasn't proposing. After we had a short picnic, we kept walking and stumbled upon an adorable secluded bench...

At this point, i began to shake because i knew this was it. I started to get teary when I saw the photobook he made. The book consisted of pictures from us as babies to us in college- with our seperate lives- then outlined our dating story in pictures and inside jokes to end on a page with a picture from new years, 2011 when he told me loved me. under the picture it said "the day he told her"

i flipped the page and the very last page said "Sept 20th, 2012: the day he asked her" with Eph 3:20. I began to cry, even more, at this point. Brett began to speak the sweetest words to me, talk about our God and His plan for us individually as well as His plan for us together. He got down on 1 knee, and asked me to marry him... to be his wife.

I was in shock and couldn't believe it. The next part was one of my favorite things I've gotten to do. [obviously, behind say yes to marry this amazing man] I have worn a true love waits ring on my left ring finger since i was 14,and it was my plan to wear that ring as a promise to the man i would one day get to marry, and on the day my dream man proposed, I would get to give the ring to him and it would now be his. I got to give that ring to Brett before he put the ring on my finger, symbolizing a promise to the Lord and to each other of our engagement and soon to be marriage.

So here were are. Brett and I are engaged to be married. I have no words to express my excitement and happiness to be his fiance and soon-to-be wife. One of the 1st things I said to Brett after he put the ring on my finger was this is going to be so much fun. I can't imagine life without Brett, and I cannot wait to see the adventure the Lord takes us on. I do know it will be full of love, smiles, and lots of laughter.

I am confident that the Lord is using Brett as a way to show Himself to me more each day, as well as a way to express His love to me, in human form.

The Lord walks with us through the tough times, sometimes has to carry us, and He sends us His unending love through people and relationships. Our God is so personal- He knows us better than we know ourselves. So sovereign. So timely.
He is so good.

for more pics of the engagement and more details.. check out my sister's blog here

September 4, 2012

moving on.

So 2 weeks ago, today, I passed the RD exam... making me a registered dietitian.

The sentence above is one I have been dreaming about being able to write for about 5 years. For those who don't know, do become a dietitian, it is a 5-year path. And with me being lucky, and knowing nutrition was a passion of mine, I have been studying and striving towards becoming a dietitian since my freshman year of college, beginning in aug. 2007.

As crazy as it may seem, this test has been one that has always been hanging over my head- for 5 years. Obviously, freshman year it wasn't super heavy since I knew it was years away, but what was heavy was to keep my grades up for the day that I apply to internships, which ultimately lead to the RD exam. So for 5 years, I have been working and pushing and being miserable some days to get to this point. The past year, the RD exam was on my mind daily. The internship year is known to be the hardest year of your life, and now experiencing an internship, I can agree with all of those that warned me. It was the hardest year, by far, of my life (thus far). And now, that it is finished. I finally get to "move on".

It has taken me 2 weeks to write this post because I have been battling and praying through the question "what now?", what does moving on look like? I have spent hours studying, working, worrying, praying, and talking about becoming a dietitian, and all the stuff it took to get here. So what does it feel like to have a weight that has been on your shoulders and a cloud hanging over your head for the past 5 years to be lifted off, and it be sunny again? I can't explain it, nor do I totally know what it feels like, I am still feeling it out.

The "what now?" is somewhat hypothetical- I do know that I am finishing my master's degree this year (will be done in May!), and working. But the "what now?" is more of a question I am excited to get to figure out while holding the Lord's hand, and allowing Him to show me. These past 5 years would not have happened without the strength, peace, patience, focus, and confidence that only the Lord is capable of providing-- and many of those who walked that treacherous road with me know that. I do believe my passion for nutrition comes from the Lord, or at least, I know He wants to use it. He has lead me to this point, and I know this is just the beginning. I am so excited to see what the Lord wants to do now.

I feel a little bare, a little vulnerable. I don't have that weight I got so used to carrying around the past 5 years anymore, and as weird as it is, I feel a little exposed. But I think this is exactly where the Lord wants me: open-hearted, weight-free, somewhat-exposed, vulnerable, and willing.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am officially (and finally) Courtney Kreul, R.D. My favorite thing I have learned over the past 5 years, and what I am looking forward to most in the 5 years is that our God's ways are way better than our own, and He is good.