full of love.

The past week or so, love and marriage has been a major theme of my life. It is so refreshing to be reminded that 1. love still exists, and fairy tales can become realities and 2. marriage can last a lifetime.

Engagement. On Friday, two of my most favorite people became engaged. Mallory and Adam have been dating since our sophomore year at Arkansas, and it has been such a blessing getting to watch their relationship go from a first date to a proposal. I had been waiting for the day Adam proposed for a long time, and it could not have been more perfect. The biggest treat for me was that I got to go with him to get the ring, AND I got to be apart of throwing the engagement party afterward. Going to get the ring, and planning the party was so. much. fun. I'm not a crafty person, but getting to do something like that for two people I love dearly, was such a treat. The "set-up" of where it all went down was unreal, and Adam blew it out of the park. Mallory was so surprised. It was pretty much perfect. Friday marked a new chapter in their life, and a beginning of a life together. God is so good in His ways, and His timing. Watching the Lord do His craftsmanship through both Mal and Adam over the years has been the best thing and one of the best gifts to me! Witnessing times of bliss, and times of less bliss with the two of them has shown me the power of love, faith, prayer, and patience in a relationship- and get this people, they were only dating. I cannot wait to see what the Lord is going to do through their marriage. I am so excited to get to be apart of it all, and walk alongside of them as they prepare for their wedding day and a lifetime together.

my presh engaged friends: Adam & Mallory

Marriage. Today, August 15th 2012, is my parent's 32nd wedding anniversary. 32 years. Wow. I cannot comprehend that--I am only 23. I don't know what it means or what it is like to be with someone longer than you ever were without them (they got married in their early 20s). But I do know, it takes a lot. It takes a lot of love, patience, kindness, forgiveness, work, strength, fight, and promise. Getting to be their daughter, and witness their Christ-centered marriage, and what it means to love has been one of the biggest gifts and blessings- I cannot put it into words. One statistic says that 50% of marriages end in divorce. I totally believe that. Marriage isn't supposed to be easy, and it isn't supposed to be done without the Lord being in the driver's seat. I don't know how to do marriage, or even what marriage is like- i'm not married. But I do know what a successful, Jesus-loving marriage looks like. What a gift that is. I cannot thank our Lord enough for my parents and for their 32 years of marriage. As I get older, i am learning and seeing what it takes and what they have done to be in the place they are today in a much more real way. They have fought so hard, because to them, giving up is not an option. I hope one day, Lord-willing, i will get to have children and that they could witness a fraction of what I have witnessed being a child of a marriage like my parents.

my wonderful parents

The fact that He has chosen others to show us His love and His power blows my mind. How creative is He? He and His love are, oh-so, good.

still.

Stillness. Being still may be one of the hardest things for me to do, yet the Lord asks us to sit before Him and be still multiple times in the bible.

"Be still and know that I am God"- Psalms 46:10
"Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him"- Psalm 37:7-9 
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” - Exodus 14:14

A few days ago one of my besties and I were talking about what it meant to be still, and how to actually do so. I think stillness can mean a lot of things, depending on the person. For me being still is to totally "unplug"- turn off phone, tv, computer, even music, and sit in complete silence in front of the Lord. And honestly, that doesn't happen very often, or i feel as though it was not "successful". For others, it can mean listening to music and going on a walk; whatever it means to stop your everyday life/routine/busyness we have created and going openly, and vulnerably in front of the Lord.

It's so interesting to me, but when I think back on some of the seasons in my life where times of stillness seemed to be a theme of my days, I was the most broken. I remember the extremely broken states, trying to fight or think of something to do, or fix the situation, or fix/change how i felt because it just hurt, and I kept feeling like the Lord was not "fixing" what I wanted to fix at the very moment I didn't want to hurt anymore. It was obvious, the Lord was saying "Stop. Stop trying to do, stop trying to fix, stop trying to not feel... just stop." And as hard as that was, and still is today, i believe the most healing is done in those moments of stillness.

Thanks to technology, and living in the 21st century, being still is nearly impossible, unless I force myself to do it, and focus on quieting your mind. Yes, completely "unplugging" is a great first step, but getting my mind to stop racing, and stop thinking.. stop doing- is hard. My friend and I were talking about how crazy it is how our minds can still race so quickly, when we are making a conscious effort of being still. As i said earlier, i sometimes feel as though my efforts were "unsuccessful", because i felt as though i failed to get completely still. And i probably did. but our God is so great and He uses that still... even though we know it wasn't a success and feel like a failure.

The Lord is so good, and he knows our hearts better than we do. He commands us to be still, because He knows we need it. He designed our hearts, he knows our needs perfectly. How awesome is it we have a God that created us in His perfect image, and knows us better than we will ever know ourselves?

Being still may be one of the most challenging things for me to do, but it is so good. And again, as always, in all of His ways... He is good.