September 4, 2012

moving on.

So 2 weeks ago, today, I passed the RD exam... making me a registered dietitian.

The sentence above is one I have been dreaming about being able to write for about 5 years. For those who don't know, do become a dietitian, it is a 5-year path. And with me being lucky, and knowing nutrition was a passion of mine, I have been studying and striving towards becoming a dietitian since my freshman year of college, beginning in aug. 2007.

As crazy as it may seem, this test has been one that has always been hanging over my head- for 5 years. Obviously, freshman year it wasn't super heavy since I knew it was years away, but what was heavy was to keep my grades up for the day that I apply to internships, which ultimately lead to the RD exam. So for 5 years, I have been working and pushing and being miserable some days to get to this point. The past year, the RD exam was on my mind daily. The internship year is known to be the hardest year of your life, and now experiencing an internship, I can agree with all of those that warned me. It was the hardest year, by far, of my life (thus far). And now, that it is finished. I finally get to "move on".

It has taken me 2 weeks to write this post because I have been battling and praying through the question "what now?", what does moving on look like? I have spent hours studying, working, worrying, praying, and talking about becoming a dietitian, and all the stuff it took to get here. So what does it feel like to have a weight that has been on your shoulders and a cloud hanging over your head for the past 5 years to be lifted off, and it be sunny again? I can't explain it, nor do I totally know what it feels like, I am still feeling it out.

The "what now?" is somewhat hypothetical- I do know that I am finishing my master's degree this year (will be done in May!), and working. But the "what now?" is more of a question I am excited to get to figure out while holding the Lord's hand, and allowing Him to show me. These past 5 years would not have happened without the strength, peace, patience, focus, and confidence that only the Lord is capable of providing-- and many of those who walked that treacherous road with me know that. I do believe my passion for nutrition comes from the Lord, or at least, I know He wants to use it. He has lead me to this point, and I know this is just the beginning. I am so excited to see what the Lord wants to do now.

I feel a little bare, a little vulnerable. I don't have that weight I got so used to carrying around the past 5 years anymore, and as weird as it is, I feel a little exposed. But I think this is exactly where the Lord wants me: open-hearted, weight-free, somewhat-exposed, vulnerable, and willing.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am officially (and finally) Courtney Kreul, R.D. My favorite thing I have learned over the past 5 years, and what I am looking forward to most in the 5 years is that our God's ways are way better than our own, and He is good.

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